You know, I think that almost everyone, no matter what size or shape, can find at least one part of their body that they really like. Ok, I don’t believe that at all but I heard someone say that you should find one part of your body that you love and keep searching until you love your whole body. Um, ok. Anyway, I was trying to do that and the longer I looked in the mirror the worse everything looked. Here is what I found:
- My eyes are too big
- My lips turn down in the corners which makes me look like I’m frowning
- My nose looks like a big mushroom
- My fingers are fat like hot dogs, you know the ones that plump when you cook them
- My hair is thinning
- I have facial pores that are the size of moon craters
- My breasts look like 2 tube socks with baseballs in them
And I quit after that because all I was doing was getting depressed. So I decided that maybe my best feature couldn’t normally be seen by myself. I know I have a butt but I don’t get a chance to see it much, you know, because it’s behind me. So I decided that I was going to love my butt and train myself to believe that I had the nicest, roundest, firmest ass there ever was.
So that’s what I told myself and then I actually looked at my rear end. You know, there’s a reason that I don’t look at it that often and it has nothing to do with it being behind me. It’s because my ass is awful. My butt looks like an old dirt road that is now full of bumps and potholes due to years of abuse. My ass literally looks like James Edward Olmos’ face. It’s just not a pretty sight. So for the time being, I have given up trying to find my one perfect body part.
